Nother good one Tux, keep em coming!!
Woman goes to the Doctor:
The Doctor comes into the exam room and asks what he can do for her?
The woman replies: "I am severly depressed, my husband does not acknowledge me anymore."
The Doctor steps back and says, "I hate to insult you any further, but good God, look at your self woman, you don't need me. I recommend you go straight to the Day Spa and get a full body makeover, then go to Victoria's Secret and get a sexy outfit, then go to the Hair Salon, get a new hair do, pedicure, manicure, lastly, go to the Wine Store and get a nice bottle of wine, candles. Go home, totally clean up your home, set out the candles, wine, nice dinner and wait for your husband in the outfit, laying across the sofa. I guarantee that will get his attention, it works for me!"
So she does all of that and when her husband walks through the door, he walks right past her, goes straight to the refrigerator, pops open his beer, sits at the kitchen table, opens his newspaper to the sports section and starts to read.
His wife is furious, she runs into the kitchen and asks him, "Don't you notice anything different?"
He looks up from the paper and says "yeah, you have your nightgown on backwards!"
She steps backs and replies, "I have my nightgown on backwards!"
And he again replies, "yeah, the sh&t stains are in the front!"
The moral of the story is you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink!" I hope this does not offend anyone!
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